First of all, let me say a massive congratulations! What has gone on with you in recent years? Everybody loves you! It’s like you’re a different person! When I knew you, all those years ago, you were like the boring one in the group (no offence).
I think part of the issue was that the buddies you assembled round you were far more interesting and exciting than you (no offence). Actually are you still friends with that annoyingly patriotic kid, the blonde one? You two were inseparable; like two peas in a beige pod.
But look, I’m only saying this because the change in you really is marvellous. It’s like you’ve let the mask down and the guy inside is actually far more entertaining than any of us ever guessed. You used to be so grey, but now you’re golden!
I do remember you at parties, knocking back the tinnies, I guess you came out of your shell then. I hope that didn’t get out of control, mate. To be honest, some of us were a bit concerned at the time and considered holding an intervention for you at one point. Not because of the alcohol consumption, but for being so boring (no offence)!
Okay, I admit, you did tell the odd inventive story here and there, but generally the suspense killed us in most of your tales.
None of that matters now, eh? If you’ve maintained your capitalist outlook I assume you’re still pretty loaded – and with your new found popularity you must be feeling invincible! Unless you’ve still got your heart condition, in which case, I apologise.
Anyway, let me know if you fancy going to the cinema sometime, I know a few of my mates who’d be keen to join us.
See you soon,